Drunkards on the Metro

So I have been taking the ‘late’ train from Grand Central from time to time lately after performances or rehearsals (i.e. 10:50 p.m…late for this middle-aged Momma) and have been exposed to a new set of partyers: the halfway-to-drunkeness-in-the-city/on-the-way-to-more-debauch-in-the-‘burbs set. Not a cute bunch. Look, I am sure I used to be a LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS drunkard myself so this is odd coming from me but it is so, so weird to be an observer on the other side.

Case in point: I was sitting in a middle car last night, minding my own business, reading the paper, across the aisle from a young lad and his Pop. Everyone in the car was reading, chatting or snoozing and the train was ready to leave GCT. A mellow vibe. Sure enough, a gaggle of shall we say, boisterous youngsters gets on and are clearly collectively bombed, unleashing a barrage of profanity right near this kid of about 9 or 10 years old. Sure, kids are gonna hear this stuff around and probably say these words but as a parent, I felt for the Dad. Was he supposed to ignore it? Move his kid to another car? Ask them to chill? What would you do if you were him? Just curious.

Anyhoo, they got off at White Plains (thank the Lord) and I silently wished them a safe night. I was PRAYING that they were in walking distance of their next watering hole or had the smarts to take a cab. So cray cray that I will be dealing with this when my little youngster is out with his friends some day. But by then, I’ll be so old, I’ll be watching reruns of Merv in the nursing home with Steve. We’ll just give someone the Power of Attorney to hire Chase a 24 hr on-call driver and car and we’ll drool away over our applesauce with our cronies, knowing somewhere in the back of our befuddled brains that he’s got a designated driver and he’s not stumbling out of some Metro North train and into harm’s way! Aye yay yay, such a yenta I’ve become!